Just the Tips

Kink on a First Date?

Man with Blindfold and Handcuffs

If you met on a kink site, then Bob’s your uncle.

Otherwise, you may wanna keep your kink in check during your first hookup. If both parties are into high-kink, chances are there’ll be an unspoken testing-of-the-waters throughout the night. Each of you will be wondering about the other’s threshold and limits. Depending on the response to each action, the kink will either escalate or not.

Here’s where your powers of persuasion will come in handy. Let each action suggest something kinkier just around the corner. It’s only once you gauge his response that you’ll know whether or not to escalate it.

  • Feel free to use bondage, but hold off from complete immobility. You can always tighten as you go.
  • There are endless degrees in the pain scale. Avoid going to 11 until you’ve successfully passed at least 6.
  • Keep your deepest desires further down the Background-Porn playlist. Those tunes will play eventually.
  • Careful with what you pull out of the toy box. You might get away with the jumbo-sized realistic cock, but the life-sized fisting arm and the inflatable doll might be a bit overwhelming.
  • If you’re really into blood-sports, bring it up way beforehand. Cock-deep in ass is never the time to start cutting. Such an activity should never come as a surprise. 911 calls during sex are such a buzzkill.
  • Same goes for water sports. No one likes to be caught unawares during an unforeseen pee storm.

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Something I like to do is have all of the toys and gadgets lined-up and on display for his arrival. Before the cocks come out, my hookup can have a good look at the menu before he orders.

Ideally both parties will be comfortable and confident and experienced enough to know how to broach any and all of these issues before hooking up. But kink can be tricky for new hookups. Guys might feel self-conscious about suggesting their desires for fear that they might be considered weird.

Choosing a Safeword for BDSM Play

But remember: nothing is weird if both parties are into it.

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